Jimmy Haslam Distances Himself From Shedeur Sanders (Black Johnny Manziel) Draft Pick: “My Name’s Bennett and I Ain’t In It”

Quick Take

• Jimmy Haslam denies any role in drafting Shedeur Sanders, telling reporters: “My name’s Bennett and I ain’t in it.”

• Insiders joke Haslam sees Shedeur as “Black Johnny Manziel” and is already bracing for “Shilo bankruptcy clauses” in future contract talks.

• Haslam still prefers quarterbacks with trauma, citing his appreciation for Deshaun Watson’s “struggles” over Shedeur’s social media fueled rise.

Down and Brown

CLEVELAND — Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam reportedly made it clear this week that he had absolutely nothing to do with drafting Shedeur Sanders, in a quote that will likely live in NFL history for all the wrong reasons.

“Look, my name’s Bennett and I ain’t in it. I told Andrew Berry and Kevin Stefanski, if y’all want to bring in Black Johnny Manziel, that’s on you.”

Sources inside the Browns’ draft room say Haslam spent most of draft night “Googling Shilo Sanders bankruptcy updates” and “watching old Deshaun Watson press conferences for inspiration” instead of evaluating quarterbacks.

Team insiders also claim Haslam has a bizarre fear that if things go south, Shedeur could launch a podcast with Barstool Sports, giving weekly behind-the-scenes stories that make the Browns look like a reality show. “The last thing we need is another ‘Call Her Dawg Pound,’” an anonymous executive said.

When pressed on why he wouldn’t endorse the selection publicly, Haslam gave a masterclass in billionaire honesty:

“I appreciate a quarterback who’s been through the struggle,” Haslam said. “Deshaun… man, he’s been through it. Legal stuff, public scrutiny, mandatory massages by the league… that’s toughness. Shedeur? He didn’t get it out the mud. He got it out of social media and Coach Prime.”

Insiders claim that the team is already bracing for challenging contract negotiations if Sanders pans out. One front office source explained, “He’s Deion’s kid. If he even makes a Pro Bowl alternate slot, they’re going to want a fully guaranteed contract, generational wealth, and probably some clause to help offset Shilo’s bankruptcy. It’s absurd.”

Internal critics reportedly call that position “bizarre,” pointing out that “Shilo’s creditors are not listed in the salary cap spreadsheet” and that the Haslams “might just be making up obstacles so they can blame somebody else when this goes sideways.”

Still, Haslam insists he’s hands-off this time.

“If it works, I’ll be at the parade. If it doesn’t, remember what I said: My name’s Bennett, and I ain’t in it.”